16 July 2009

Movie Reviews for Summer 2009

I've been able to keep up with the summer blockbusters while on R&R leave. Reviews below:

Bruno: Not as funny as Borat, but still worthwhile. In fact, it's worth watching just to see Sasha Baron Cohen, in his guise as the flamboyantly gay Austrian fashion reporter, Bruno, infiltrate Officer Candidate School. During his stint there, he makes some discrete modifications to the Army Combat Uniform, which includes a rigger belt from Dolce and Gabana.

You know, much has been written about the US military's treatment of homosexuals. Indeed, the entire film is a mockumentary about the treatment of gays in general in the United States. However, in the film, the US military is an equal opportunity paradise compared with some of the people that Bruno visits (to include a "gay counselor")

While at Officer Candidate School, Bruno is yelled at by his instructors and forced do do hundreds of push-ups...just like every other candidate. Indeed, in the the eyes of the instructors at OCS, all officer candidates, regardless of their orientation, are equally worthless.

As an added bonus, the military was one of the few organizations to catch on to Bruno's identity. You see, we're just hip like that.

Star Trek: A must-see. You don't have to be a hard-core fan of the series to like this movie (although it helps). This is easily the best Star Trek movie since Star Trek VI, almost 20 years ago. Every member of the original cast has their own little moment to shine and contribute to the success of the mission. Not to mention, since (minor spoiler) time travel is involved, the writers could take considerable liberties with the plot line.

The Hangover: Pretty autobiographical.

Finally, Transformers 2: You know what, I ought to begin by posting a review of the movie that I found on the Internet.

I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.--Megan Fox
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. When the leading actress says that the acting sucks, then you really know that the acting sucks. I mean, it was great to see giant robots shooting one another and military hardware blowing things up, but that was about it. (Clearly, the reviews agree) There were plot holes in the movie that Grimlock could walk through--if Sam Witwicky had that one piece of the Allspark all along, why not use it to revive Optimus Prime from the get-go? Not to mention, time travel and teleportation? Seriously? Are you out of ideas? And why are all the Autobots in this movie incredibly lame? Mudflap and Skids are the worst characters since Jar Jar Binks, and there are two of them.

Again, just like I said about the first Transformers movie, this isn't just product placement for the failing line of General Motors. Indeed, if you're a big-name defense contractor who's upset that President Obama and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates are cancelling or curtailing your F-22 Raptors, Battleships with giant rail guns, and giant fire-breathing dragon tanks, this is the movie for you. For those of us in the counterinsurgency camp, on the other hand, will find the over-reliance on the F-22, B-1, and some sort of battleship thing exceedingly funny.

I'm just waiting for someone from the Col. Gian Gentile school of high-intensity conflict to claim that we need more M-1 Abrams tanks, since, in the Transformers universe, sabot rounds are the only weapon that can penetrate the armour of the Decepticons. ("When you're saluting your Decepticon overlords, you'll wish you hadn't cancelled the Crusader!")

1 comment:

El Goyito said...

Just saw Michael Mann's (of Miami Vice fame) "Public Enemies" today. Great movie and, as usual, Johnny Depp is amazing.

On my must-see list is Quentin Tanantino's "Inglorious Basterds" (sic).