What do I base this on? Take this speech by Libyan dictator Moammar Qadaffi at the G8 conference in Italy this July, during which he campaigned against the most rogue nation of all.
Sing, O Muse of the rage of Qadaffi—what nation could anger him so? Most would say the US, but apparently, we don’t even register on his radar any more. Israel is a good second guess, being the international community’s favorite whipping boy, but no, the Israelis are small fry compared to this nation.
No, there is a far more rogue nation out there than the US and Israel. One that draws the vitriolic hatred of the world’s most ruthless dictators…
(Link provided by my fans in Zurich who apparently spend their time reading this blog instead of working.)
[Qadaffi] also said at the G8 meeting that Switzerland is ‘a mafia world, and not a country’. Gaddafi has apparently notified others that he will make his request during his first-ever visit to, and speech at, the UN General Assembly.
He’s scheduled to speak on September 23, just after US President Barack Obama.
Gaddafi wants to split Switzerland along linguistic lines, with France, Germany and Italy gaining respective regions.
Wow. You know, we used to be the ones who got all the insults and served as the target for Qadaffi’s rage. I’m actually kind of missing the days when people claimed that we were reckless, arrogant dicks who policed the world (to steal a line from Team America: World Police). But now even Switzerland seems to draw more spite from Qadaffi than we do. To add insult to injury, some nations are taking our most cherished insults. In fact, now Britain—not the US—is Iran’s Great Satan! That was Iran’s special word for us alone! Those bastards!
But what did the Swiss—inhabitants of a neutral nation that’s constitutionally forbidden from entering foreign conflicts--do to upset Qadaffi so much? Seems Qadaffi’s a little upset over the fact that his son, Hannibal (appropriate name), is in Swiss custody after beating up a few members of a hotel staff in Geneva. I’m trying to think of what Qadaffi’s demands upon the Swiss government are going to entail—is he going to ask for the removal of Swiss mercenaries from the Vatican?
The big question, of course, is what Qadaffi’s partition plan is for Switzerland. Apparently, he seems to be bent on conquering Helvetia and dividing it up into four parts (like the historical analogy?), I’m curious as to how he’s going to cut it up along linguistic lines. If Germany gets the German-speaking part, France gets the French part and Italy gets the Italian part, who gets the Romansch-speakers? I think they’d wind up being the Kurds of the Alps….
At any rate, it seems like the Qadaffi family is nutty enough to warrant their own reality TV show. Maybe "Keeping Up With the Qadaffis, Featuring Kim Kardashian". Hilarity might ensue.