As one of my friends says, "Underage drinking is responsible for the family I have today"
Wait, we actually need to tell people that sexual assault is a crime? What's next?
This last one's just unintentionally insulting. In one of those ubiquitous "loose lips sink ships"-style videos, locals in a cafe observe Americans in public acting like, well, Americans. The lesson, of course, is to maintain a low profile when you're in a potentially hostile country so that you don't attract attention from terrorist organizations (and so you don't act like a fucking jackass). Now, it's good advice to maintain a low profile in countries in Africa, South and Central America, the Middle East, and so forth. But listen closely to the foreigners in this commercial. What terrorist safe haven do they represent?
That's right, the Armed Forces Network secretly implies that Italy, our NATO ally who just lost six troops in Afghanistan to a roadside bomb, is secretly spying on us. Out of all the countries in the world to choose from, we picked the one we have an alliance with. Christ, I hope the Italian contingent doesn't get access to AFN.