13 October 2009

Down with Orwellian PSAs!

The great thing about being back in the US is that I can watch television with actual commercials telling me to buy stuff, instead of the laughably bad PSAs on AFN. To highlight them:

"Hi, even though the government Thrift Savings Plan does not match your contributions (like a regular 401K at any other work place), it's still awesome, and here are pseudo-rock stars to prove it!"

As one of my friends says, "Underage drinking is responsible for the family I have today"

Wait, we actually need to tell people that sexual assault is a crime? What's next?

This last one's just unintentionally insulting. In one of those ubiquitous "loose lips sink ships"-style videos, locals in a cafe observe Americans in public acting like, well, Americans. The lesson, of course, is to maintain a low profile when you're in a potentially hostile country so that you don't attract attention from terrorist organizations (and so you don't act like a fucking jackass). Now, it's good advice to maintain a low profile in countries in Africa, South and Central America, the Middle East, and so forth. But listen closely to the foreigners in this commercial. What terrorist safe haven do they represent?


That's right, the Armed Forces Network secretly implies that Italy, our NATO ally who just lost six troops in Afghanistan to a roadside bomb, is secretly spying on us. Out of all the countries in the world to choose from, we picked the one we have an alliance with. Christ, I hope the Italian contingent doesn't get access to AFN.

1 comment:

Schmedlap said...

Some of those commercials have been running for years.

I told my family that if I succumbed to PTSD, it wouldn't be due to the combat in my first two deployments. It would be the result of being subjected to AFN commercials on my third deployment that were so stupid they could easily push someone over the edge after months of continuous viewing.