Speaking of suicide...

On the day after Thanksgiving, 1978, America witnessed true horror: The Star Wars Holiday Special. Today, thanks to the prevalence of pirated videos on Youtube, I vow to re-visit this terrible day.

I may not make it through the entire 117-minute ordeal without alcohol.

If war is hell, the Star Wars Holiday Special is the icy river of Coctyx. Help me, Virgil.