25 December 2009

Charlie Simpson Ruined My Christmas :(

Many of you read a blog by "Charlie Simpson", a regular poster at Andrew Exum's Abu Muqawama, who is currently serving as a civilian advisor in southern Afghanistan. Today she reflected upon her experience of Christmas in Afghanistan. Please observe the sacrifice of our troops this holiday season and keep in mind that war is hell.

It isn’t Christmas here until you’ve seen a female British soldier in a slutty Santa costume, with a rifle slung down her back.

I love the British. Leave it to the country that gave us the Page 3 Girl, as well as Bernard Montgomery and his pragmatic attitudes towards sexual behavior to provide us with amusing innuendo this holiday season. Had this happened in the US military, you can rest assured that the moral outrage (and pregnancy scare) would begin 0.2 seconds after the discovery of Slutty Santa. But I digress.

After the awesome mental image of a British Slutty Santa with an SA80 assault rifle slung across her back--bringing back awesome memories of Sephira's IDF Girl of the Day--we then hear Charlie Simpson talk about the cute little bow in her hair, how she's dressed well in her warm North Face jacket, and so forth. After all, her family is reading this.

I was viewing the article in Google Reader and thought that I needed to simply go to her website directly in order to view the picture of the aforementioned Slutty Santa. To my dismay, there was no Slutty Santa picture.

The horror, the horror.

Seriously?! You've just given me hope that the magic of Christmas (with slutty outfits) can outdo the alcohol-fueled slutty-costume awesomeness that is Halloween. But alas, no Slutty Santa picture. Looks like I will have to provide this for you. (Ed note: I just now had to explain to my mom why I was Google Image-searching "Slutty Santa". Thanks Charlie Simpson!)

So, for all my fans with a Y-chromosome, I present to you the Slutty Santa of the season:

And for the rest of you, Merry Christmas from me:

PS--Charlie Simpson: in all seriousness, though, I love your blog. I especially empathize with your frustration at the incoherency of DOD computer systems. And people are amazed that insurgents in a 3rd World Country have a tech-savvy information operations campaign which outperforms that of the world's most Internet-savvy superpower.

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